Grief and the Whole Self: Brain, Beliefs & Beyond

Understanding How Grief Touches Every Part of Us

Grief is not just sadness. It’s not something to “get over,” and it’s not limited to the death of a loved one. Grief is a full-body, full-mind, full-heart response to loss. It reaches into our thoughts, behaviours, physical health, relationships, belief systems, and sense of self.

At Authentic Living London, we believe that grief should be supported, not silenced. Whether your loss is from death, estrangement, divorce, illness, infertility, or a major life transition, we honour all forms of grief—because every loss that matters deserves space to be acknowledged.

In this article, we’ll explore how grief affects the whole self—starting with the brain and moving into the body, belief systems, identity, and beyond. We'll also discuss how grief therapy can help you make sense of what you're experiencing and begin to carry your grief with compassion and strength.

Grief and the Brain: Why You Might Feel Foggy, Forgetful, or Stuck

Grief is a neurological experience. When someone you love dies—or when you lose a part of your life that mattered deeply—your brain doesn’t just “get sad.” It gets rewired.

What Happens in the Brain During Grief?

• Amygdala ActivationThe amygdala, part of the brain's limbic system, becomes more active during grief. It’s responsible for detecting threat and triggering emotional responses like fear, anxiety, anger, and sadness. This is why grief can make you feel emotionally on edge or easily overwhelmed.

• Prefrontal Cortex ImpairmentThe prefrontal cortex—responsible for logical thinking, planning, and impulse control—often becomes less efficient during grief. This leads to common symptoms like brain fog, forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, or making simple decisions.

• Default Mode Network DisruptionThis is the part of the brain involved in memory, self-reflection, and daydreaming. In grief, it may become overactive, which is why you might find yourself constantly replaying memories or worrying about the future.

• Neurochemical ChangesGrief impacts neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and cortisol. These shifts can result in sleep disruptions, appetite changes, and heightened stress or anxiety.

It's Not Just in Your Head—But It Is in Your Brain

These neurological changes don’t mean you’re broken. They mean your brain is doing what it’s wired to do: process deep emotional pain and adapt to a world that no longer looks or feels the same.

Grief and the Body: Where Loss Lives in the Nervous System

Grief often shows up in the body before we can even name what we’re feeling. Physical symptoms of grief are common and, when left unsupported, can become chronic.

Common Physical Symptoms of Grief

• Fatigue or exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest

• Tightness in the chest or shortness of breath

• Headaches or jaw tension

• Nausea, stomach pain, or changes in digestion

• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or oversleeping

• Heart palpitations or a racing heartbeat

• Muscle aches or a heavy, weighted feeling in the limbs

• Sensory overwhelm (lights, sounds, textures feel too intense)

• Restlessness or inability to relax

Why Does Grief Affect the Body?

Grief activates the nervous system. Your body may enter a state of hyperarousal (fight-or-flight) or shutdown (freeze/collapse). These survival responses are not wrong—they’re attempts by your body to manage danger and loss.

Over time, if grief is not given space to move and process, these physical symptoms can lead to chronic stress, inflammation, or health challenges. That’s why integrating the body in grief therapy—through grounding, breathwork, or somatic practices—can be just as important as talking.

Grief and Beliefs: When Loss Shakes the Foundation of What You Knew

Grief often upends the belief systems we once held close. Whether you’ve experienced the death of a loved one, a divorce, a betrayal, or the loss of faith or identity, these experiences can leave you questioning everything.

Common Belief Shifts in Grief

• “I thought the world was fair.”

• “I believed things would get better.”

• “I trusted that people would stay.”

• “I used to feel safe.”

• “I don’t know what I believe anymore.”

Grief Can Challenge:

• Religious or spiritual frameworks

• Beliefs about justice or karma

• Views on love, commitment, or safety

• Assumptions about your identity or life path

• Trust in yourself, others, or the universe

Many people experience a crisis of meaning during grief. It’s not just about missing someone—it’s about trying to make sense of life in their absence. Some begin to question long-held spiritual beliefs. Others might discover new beliefs or values arising from their pain.

Grief therapy can help you explore, rebuild, or reimagine your worldview—not by giving you answers, but by holding space for your questions.

Grief and Identity: “Who Am I Now?”

Loss reshapes who we are. After grief, many people feel like strangers to themselves. You may look the same on the outside, but everything inside feels different.

Identity Shifts in Grief:

• You may no longer be a spouse, parent, sibling, or caregiver in the way you once were.

• You might feel disconnected from roles that once brought meaning—like being a student, employee, or friend.

• You might lose a sense of purpose or motivation.

• You may experience changes in sexuality, gender identity, or relationship needs.

• You may feel like a different version of yourself entirely.

These identity disruptions are not setbacks—they’re part of the grieving process. But they can feel disorienting and lonely, especially in a world that often expects people to “get back to normal.”

Grief therapy can help you rebuild a sense of self that includes your loss—not by forgetting, but by integrating your experience in a way that feels authentic and whole.

Beyond the Expected: Hidden and Unseen Forms of Grief

Not all grief is recognized or validated. At Authentic Living London, we honour disenfranchised grief—the kind that doesn’t always get a funeral or a “sorry for your loss.”

Examples of Unseen Grief:

• Miscarriage or infertility

• Pet loss

• Estrangement from a family member

• Being cut off by a community or faith group

• Loss of a friendship

• Chronic illness or disability

• The death of an ex-partner or someone outside your “immediate” circle

• Retirement, aging, or loss of identity

• Grieving someone who is still alive (due to dementia, addiction, incarceration, etc.)

These forms of grief deserve just as much care and attention as those society readily names. Therapy provides a safe space to acknowledge them without shame or dismissal.

How Grief Therapy Helps: Support for the Whole Self

Grief therapy isn’t about “fixing” you or rushing your healing. At Authentic Living London, our approach is holistic and trauma-informed. We meet you exactly where you are, and walk with you as you process your grief—one breath, one memory, one moment at a time.

Our Grief Therapy Approach Includes:

Understanding the brain – Learn why grief affects your thoughts, focus, and emotions Regulating the body – Use breath, movement, and grounding to soothe the nervous system Exploring beliefs – Make space for shifting spiritual or philosophical questions Rebuilding identity – Rediscover who you are in the aftermath of loss Processing emotions – Make room for sadness, rage, guilt, relief, numbness, and more Honouring continuing bonds – Explore healthy ways to maintain connection with what (or who) you’ve lost.

You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone

Grief may be universal, but that doesn’t make it easy—or something you should have to carry alone.

Whether your grief is fresh or long-held, visible or invisible, complicated or simple, we’re here to offer support that sees the whole of you.

You’re not broken. You’re grieving. And you deserve to be supported.

Ready to Start?

If you’re in need of grief counselling in London, Ontario or anywhere in the province, we’re here for you. We offer in-person sessions at our clinic and virtual therapy across Ontario.

Book your free 15-minute consult today www.authenticlivinglondon.com