When Grief Feels Too Heavy to Carry Alone

Grief is a natural response to losing someone, something, or a future that mattered to you. Although grief is a universal human experience, the way it affects each person can be very different. Some people experience intense sadness, while others notice anger, guilt, anxiety, numbness, physical exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, or changes in sleep. Grief can also fluctuate, with periods of relative calm followed by moments when the loss feels unexpectedly immediate again.

Research on grief trajectories shows considerable variation in how people adjust following bereavement. Many people gradually experience a reduction in distress and find ways to adapt to life after a loss, while a smaller proportion experience persistent and impairing grief symptoms (Mancini et al., 2026). Understanding this variation is important because there is no single emotional timetable that determines whether someone is grieving appropriately.

At Authentic Living London, we believe grief is not something to cure, but something to carry together. If you’ve been holding your grief alone, you may find that therapy provides a kind of support you didn’t realize was possible.

At Authentic Living London, we approach grief as an experience that deserves attention rather than judgment. Grief therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore what has changed, understand difficult emotions, and develop ways of living with loss while continuing to participate in life.

What Is Grief?

Grief is often associated with the death of someone we love, but significant loss can take many forms. Bereavement following the death of a partner, parent, child, friend, or other important person can profoundly affect emotional and daily functioning. People can also experience grief following the end of a significant relationship, a serious illness, a major change in health or independence, loss of employment, retirement, relocation, or the loss of an anticipated future.

The experience of grief may involve emotional, cognitive, behavioural, and physical responses. Someone might feel sadness and longing, while another person may experience irritability, guilt, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, disrupted sleep, or a sense of emotional numbness.

These reactions can change over time. Research examining grief trajectories suggests that people differ substantially in the course their grief takes, with many showing recovery or resilience and a smaller group experiencing more persistent difficulties (Mancini et al., 2026).

This variability is one reason grief should not be measured against a predetermined timeline.

Grief Does Not Follow a Single Timeline

One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that people move through a predictable series of stages and eventually reach a point where the grief is finished.

Contemporary research paints a more complicated picture. Grief can change over time without disappearing entirely, and people may experience periods of adjustment alongside periods of renewed sadness or longing. Certain dates, places, songs, conversations, or life events can bring memories of the loss to the forefront again.

For many people, this does not indicate that they are moving backwards. Instead, it can be part of adapting to a life that has changed.

Research also suggests that the majority of bereaved people do not develop a persistent grief disorder. However, some individuals experience grief that remains severe and significantly interferes with daily functioning. Prolonged grief disorder is now recognized as a mental health condition characterized by persistent, intense grief accompanied by substantial impairment (Boelen & Lenferink, 2022).

The distinction matters. Grief itself is not a disorder, and experiencing strong emotions after a loss does not mean someone needs treatment.

When Might Grief Therapy Be Helpful?

People do not need to meet criteria for prolonged grief disorder to seek counselling. Therapy can be useful when someone wants additional support, particularly when grief is affecting relationships, work, sleep, daily functioning, or their ability to engage with life.

Research suggests that psychological interventions can reduce grief symptoms, particularly among people experiencing more significant or persistent grief difficulties. A meta-analysis of 31 randomized controlled trials found that psychological interventions produced small-to-moderate improvements in grief symptoms, with effects maintained at follow-up (Johannsen et al., 2019).

Therapy may be particularly appropriate when grief feels overwhelming, when someone feels persistently stuck, or when symptoms such as depression, anxiety, trauma-related distress, or significant functional impairment are also present.

The goal is not to eliminate the relationship with the person who died or to make the loss insignificant. Rather, therapy can help someone process the loss and develop ways of adapting to the changes that have followed it.

What Happens in Grief Therapy?

Grief therapy is different for every person because every loss and relationship is different.

Early sessions may involve talking about what happened, understanding how the loss has affected daily life, and identifying the emotions or situations that feel most difficult. A therapist may also explore changes in relationships, identity, routines, beliefs, and expectations for the future.

Depending on a person's needs, therapy may include cognitive-behavioural strategies, emotional processing, meaning-making, narrative approaches, or other evidence-informed interventions.

Research has found particularly promising evidence for cognitive-behavioural approaches when treating prolonged grief disorder. A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials found that grief-focused cognitive-behavioural therapies were effective in reducing prolonged grief symptoms, with some approaches incorporating exposure, cognitive restructuring, and other grief-specific components (Doering et al., 2024).

For some people, working directly with memories of the loss may be an important part of therapy. Research on narrative reconstruction, for example, suggests that carefully supported work with the memory and meaning of a loss may reduce prolonged grief and intrusive symptoms (Nijdam et al., 2023).

The approach should be matched to the person's circumstances, preferences, symptoms, and readiness.

Therapy Can Provide a Place to Talk About What Others May Avoid

Grief can become particularly difficult when the people around you are uncomfortable talking about the loss.

Friends and family may stop asking questions after the first few weeks or months. People may return to their usual routines while the bereaved person continues to experience significant changes internally. This can create a sense of isolation, even when there are supportive people nearby.

A therapist can provide a consistent place to talk about the person who died, the circumstances surrounding the loss, changes in relationships, difficult memories, or concerns about the future.

For some people, simply being able to speak openly about the loss without worrying about making someone else uncomfortable can be an important part of the therapeutic relationship.

Grief Can Affect More Than Your Emotions

Grief can influence many areas of functioning. Sleep may become disrupted, concentration may be more difficult, and everyday tasks can require more effort. Some people experience changes in appetite, energy, motivation, or social engagement.

When these difficulties persist or become severe, it can be useful to consider whether additional mental health concerns are developing alongside grief.

Prolonged grief disorder is characterized by persistent and impairing grief symptoms rather than simply experiencing grief for a long period. Research into the condition emphasizes the importance of distinguishing persistent, clinically significant grief from the wide range of normal bereavement experiences (Boelen & Lenferink, 2022).

A therapist can help assess what you are experiencing and determine whether grief-focused therapy, another form of psychological treatment, or additional professional support may be appropriate.

What About Finding Meaning After Loss?

For some people, grief eventually involves questions about identity, meaning, relationships, and how they want to live following the loss.

This does not require finding a positive lesson in what happened. Instead, therapy can provide an opportunity to explore how the loss has changed your understanding of yourself and your life.

Some people find meaning through maintaining a continuing connection with the person who died, while others focus on relationships, personal values, creative expression, spirituality, or changes they want to make in their lives.

Meaning-making is highly individual. Therapy can provide space to explore these questions without imposing a particular interpretation of the loss.

Grief Therapy Is Not About Forgetting

A common concern is that moving forward might somehow mean leaving the person or the relationship behind.

Psychological approaches to grief increasingly recognize that adaptation does not necessarily require severing an emotional connection with someone who has died. Instead, people may develop new ways of relating to memories, relationships, roles, and aspects of their identity following a loss.

The aim of therapy is therefore not to erase memories or eliminate sadness. It is to help a person develop ways of living with the reality of the loss while continuing to engage with their life.

Choosing Grief Therapy in London, Ontario

At Authentic Living London, our therapists provide grief counselling for people experiencing many different forms of loss. We understand that grief can affect relationships, identity, daily functioning, and your sense of what the future will look like.

Our approach is compassionate and individualized. Therapy provides a place to talk openly about your loss, understand what you are experiencing, and explore ways of adapting to life after a significant change.

We offer both in-person therapy in London, Ontario, and virtual therapy across Ontario.

If grief has been affecting your life and you would like support, you can reach out to Authentic Living London to discuss whether grief therapy may be a good fit for you.

Author Brenda Deaves, RP-qualifying, BA, MACP specializes in grief therapy, both for individuals and in group format.

References

Boelen, P. A., & Lenferink, L. I. M. (2022). Prolonged grief disorder in DSM-5-TR: Early predictors and longitudinal measurement invariance. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 56(6), 667–674. https://doi.org/10.1177/00048674211025728

Doering, B. K., Eisma, M. C., & others. (2024). Grief-focused cognitive behavioral therapies for prolonged grief symptoms: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000884

Johannsen, M., Damholdt, M. F., Zachariae, R., Lundorff, M., Farver-Vestergaard, I., & O'Connor, M. (2019). Psychological interventions for grief in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Affective Disorders, 253, 69–86. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2019.04.065

Mancini, A. D., et al. (2026). Trajectories of grief following bereavement: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders.

Nijdam, M. J., et al. (2023). A quasi-experimental trial of narrative reconstruction for prolonged grief disorder: Symptomatic improvement and enhanced memory integration. Journal of Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23583

Waller, A., Turon, H., Mansfield, E., Clark, K., Hobden, B., & Sanson-Fisher, R. (2016). Assisting the bereaved: A systematic review of the evidence for grief counselling. Palliative Medicine, 30(2), 132–148. https://doi.org/10.1177/0269216315588728