The Challenges of Summer Grief

Summer is often associated with sunshine, holidays, family gatherings, outdoor parties, and a sense of freedom.

For many people, the warmer months bring welcome opportunities to slow down, spend time outside, and reconnect with the people they love.

But if you're grieving someone you love, summer can feel surprisingly complicated.

You may be surrounded by celebrations while feeling anything but celebratory. A family holiday may remind you of the person who should be there. A familiar summer tradition may suddenly feel unbearably different. And the expectation to be social, active, and happy can make it difficult to acknowledge how much you're hurting.

Grief doesn't take a vacation just because the weather gets warm.

And you don't have to pretend that it has.

While there is no evidence that summer itself causes grief to become worse, changes in routines, social expectations, meaningful dates, and reminders of the person who died can all influence how grief is experienced. Research also shows that bereavement can involve considerable variation over time, including periods when grief may unexpectedly become more intense.

Here's how you might navigate summer while making room for whatever your grief looks like.

The Challenges of Summer Grief

The pressure to be happy

Summer comes with its own set of social expectations.

Barbecues. Weddings. Family holidays. Festivals. Patio dinners. Beach days. Birthday celebrations.

When you're grieving, watching other people enjoy these experiences can sometimes intensify feelings of loneliness or disconnection.

You may find yourself thinking:

Everyone else seems to be having such a wonderful summer. Why don't I feel that way?

Or perhaps you feel guilty because you do have moments of happiness.

Research suggests that social expectations can play an important role in bereavement. A 2025 study found that grief-related expectations about relationships with others and with the deceased were associated with both loneliness and grief severity (Wanza et al., 2025). Other research has found that cultural expectations can influence how bereaved people believe they are supposed to express their emotions (How the bereaved behave, 2023).

In other words, there can be a gap between what you're feeling and what you think you're supposed to be feeling.

You don't have to close that gap.

You are allowed to be grieving at the same time that the world around you is celebrating.

Missing old summer traditions

Summer often comes with traditions.

The annual family holiday.

The cottage.

The camping trip.

The garden party.

The family barbecue.

The birthday celebration.

When someone important dies, the tradition doesn't necessarily disappear—but it changes.

Going back to a familiar place can bring memories rushing back. And sometimes the hardest part isn't the place itself.

It's noticing who isn't there.

Research on bereavement anniversary reactions suggests that significant dates and occasions—including birthdays and anniversaries—can trigger psychological and physical responses related to grief. These reactions can occur even after considerable time has passed since the death (Leaune et al., 2025).

Summer may therefore contain more reminders than you expect.

A particular song.

A holiday destination.

A favourite food.

A photograph from last year's garden party.

The first warm evening when you suddenly remember that they aren't going to walk through the door.

Grief Therapist Brenda Deaves

These moments don't mean you're “going backwards.”

They may simply be reminders of a relationship that mattered.

Changes in routine

Summer can also change the rhythm of everyday life.

Children may be out of school. Work schedules may change. People may travel. Regular activities may pause. Weekends can become less structured.

For someone who is grieving, changes in routine can sometimes feel unsettling.

At other times, a change of routine may be exactly what you need.

There is no universal response.

The important thing is to notice what helps you.

If having some structure makes the days easier, create it.

If you need more flexibility, give yourself permission for that too.

Grief is not a straight line, and there is no single routine that everyone needs to follow.

The Brighter Side of Summer Grief

It is also possible for summer to bring moments of comfort.

And here's something important:

Feeling good does not mean you are no longer grieving.

You can laugh with a friend and miss someone terribly.

You can enjoy a beautiful sunset and wish they were there to see it.

You can swim, travel, dance, eat dinner outside, or have a genuinely wonderful day—and still carry your loss.

Joy and grief are not mutually exclusive.

More opportunities to be outside

Warmer weather can make it easier to spend time outdoors.

A quiet walk.

Sitting in the garden.

Swimming.

Gardening.

Cycling.

Walking along the water.

These activities don't “cure” grief, but they may provide moments of movement, distraction, connection, or simply a change of environment.

Research specifically examining physical activity after bereavement found some evidence that activities such as walking, running, yoga, and other forms of movement may benefit psychological wellbeing and grief-related outcomes. The researchers also noted that physical activity could provide opportunities for emotional expression, distraction, freedom, and social support (Williams et al., 2021).

The key is not to turn exercise into another obligation.

You don't need to train for a marathon.

A ten-minute walk counts.

So does sitting beneath a tree.

So does gardening for half an hour.

Ask yourself:

“What would feel kind to my body today?”

Opportunities for movement

Grief can be exhausting.

Sometimes it can feel as though your whole body is carrying something heavy.

Gentle physical activity can offer a different way of moving through that experience.

Go for a walk.

Take a swim.

Ride a bicycle.

Work in the garden.

Stretch in the morning.

Dance around the kitchen if that's what feels right.

A systematic review of physical activity and bereavement found promising evidence that movement may support physical and psychological wellbeing, although the researchers emphasized that more research is needed to determine exactly how effective different forms of physical activity are for grief (Williams et al., 2021).

Think of movement as an invitation, not a prescription.

Creating new ways to remember

Summer can also offer opportunities to remember the person you've lost in ways that feel meaningful to you.

You might plant something in their memory.

Visit a favourite outdoor place.

Cook their favourite summer meal.

Gather friends or family and tell stories about them.

Look through photographs.

Light a candle in the garden.

Or simply sit somewhere beautiful and think about them.

Research into continuing bonds—the ways people maintain an ongoing relationship with someone who has died—suggests that remembering, talking about, and maintaining connections with the deceased can sometimes play a meaningful role in adapting to bereavement. A 2024 systematic review found potential adaptive functions of continuing bonds, while also emphasizing that these experiences can bring both comfort and distress depending on the individual (Hewson et al., 2024).

There is no requirement to “let go” of someone you love in order to move forward.

Sometimes, moving forward means finding a different way to carry the relationship with you.

Tips for Managing Summer Grief

Set your own pace

You don't have to attend every summer party.

You don't have to accept every invitation.

And you don't have to stay for the entire event if you decide to go.

Give yourself permission to say:

“I'd love to come, but I may only stay for an hour.”

Or:

“Thank you for inviting me. I'm not up to it this year.”

You don't need to justify every boundary.

Make an exit plan

If you're attending a gathering that may feel emotionally difficult, think ahead.

Can you drive yourself?

Can you arrange a taxi?

Is there someone you trust who knows you may need to leave early?

Can you step outside if you become overwhelmed?

Having an exit plan doesn't mean you're expecting the event to go badly.

It means you're giving yourself choices.

Keep communication open

Tell the people closest to you what you need.

Maybe you want company.

Maybe you need quiet.

Maybe you want someone to talk about the person who died.

Maybe you desperately want a normal evening where nobody asks how you're doing.

You are allowed to tell people.

And if you don't know what you need yet, you can say that too.

Research on social expectations in bereavement suggests that expectations surrounding relationships can be connected with loneliness and grief severity (Wanza et al., 2025).

You don't have to navigate those expectations silently.

Honor your feelings

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is this:

You are allowed to have a complicated summer.

You can be sad.

You can laugh.

You can miss someone.

You can feel relief.

You can enjoy yourself.

You can feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

You can have a wonderful day and cry when you get home.

None of these experiences cancel out the others.

Grief and joy can exist in the same heart.

Practice Self-Compassion

Summer can sometimes make comparison particularly tempting.

You see photographs of holidays.

Friends enjoying themselves.

Families gathering.

Couples travelling.

People seemingly living their best lives.

Meanwhile, you may be struggling simply to get through the day.

Try not to use someone else's summer as a measurement of your own healing.

Self-compassion means responding to your own suffering with kindness rather than criticism.

Emerging research specifically examining self-compassion in bereavement is encouraging. A 2024 feasibility trial found that an online group psychotherapy intervention focused on self-compassion was feasible for people experiencing bereavement-related grief and was associated with improvements in several psychological outcomes. The authors appropriately note that larger randomized controlled trials are needed to establish effectiveness more conclusively (Uneno et al., 2024).

So instead of asking:

“Why am I still struggling?”

Try:

“What would I say to someone I love who was going through this?”

Then offer yourself some of that same kindness.

You Don't Have to Make Summer Beautiful

There can be pressure to turn every season into something meaningful.

To make memories.

To travel.

To get outside.

To embrace the sunshine.

To “make the most of it.”

But perhaps this summer doesn't need to be beautiful.

Perhaps it just needs to be yours.

Maybe you will spend more time with friends.

Maybe you'll spend more time alone.

Maybe you'll create a new tradition.

Maybe you'll continue an old one.

Maybe you'll visit a place you shared with the person who died.

Maybe you won't.

There is no correct way to spend your first summer without someone you love.

And there is no correct way to spend your fifth.

When Grief Feels Too Heavy

Most people gradually adapt to bereavement, but grief can sometimes remain intense and significantly interfere with daily life.

If you're finding it increasingly difficult to function, connect with other people, or cope with your emotions, reaching out for professional support can be a valuable step.

You don't have to wait until things become unbearable.

You don't have to prove that your grief is “bad enough.”

And you don't have to navigate it alone.

Finding Support at Authentic Living London

At Authentic Living London, we provide a compassionate, judgment-free space where you can talk honestly about what you're experiencing.

There is no requirement to put a positive spin on your grief.

No pressure to “move on.”

No expectation that you should be enjoying the summer simply because everyone else seems to be.

Whether you're feeling isolated, overwhelmed, unexpectedly joyful, or all three in the same afternoon, there is space for that here.

We can walk alongside you as you find your own way through loss—not according to someone else's timeline, but at a pace that respects your story.

You don't have to navigate the changing seasons of loss by yourself.

Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation

References

Hewson, H., Galbraith, N., Jones, C., & Heath, G. (2024). The impact of continuing bonds following bereavement: A systematic review. Death Studies, 48(10), 1001–1014. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2023.2223593

Jiang, X., Mao, Z., Wu, Q., & Tang, S. (2026). How is self-compassion associated with prolonged grief and posttraumatic stress after bereavement? The mediating roles of perceived stigma and anger. Behavioral Sciences, 16(3), 354. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs16030354

Leaune, E., Lau-Taï, P., & Pitman, A. (2025). The phenomenon of bereavement anniversary reactions: An integrative systematic review. Death Studies, 50(9), 1528–1545. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2025.2513997

Uneno, Y., Kotera, Y., Kikuchi, K., Yamada, M., Sugitani, M., Terado, S., Maehara, H., Sakamoto, Y., Sugao, S., Tani, H., Shimizu, A., Kubo, Y., Fujisawa, D., & Muto, M. (2024). Self-compassion-based online group psychotherapy for bereavement-related grief: The COMPACT feasibility trial. General Hospital Psychiatry, 90, 116–123. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.genhosppsych.2024.08.009

Wanza, C., Rief, W., & Doering, B. K. (2025). The Inventory of Social Expectations in Bereavement: Development and psychometric validation of a new instrument. Death Studies, 49(3), 238–248. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2024.2318592

Williams, J., Shorter, G. W., Howlett, N., Zakrzewski-Fruer, J., & Chater, A. M. (2021). Can physical activity support grief outcomes in individuals who have been bereaved? A systematic review. Sports Medicine - Open, 7, 26. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40798-021-00311-z